Feelings

Do you ever feel like you're coming off wrong but don't know how to fix it or make the other person understand? I feel this way often. Mostly because I'm afraid I'm coming off as cold and it freaks me out. My worst fear is that someone won't understand how concerned I am for them or how much I care about them. I try to balance this out with family by always saying I love you, at the end of every phone call and every time we leave each other. But then there's the times that that is not enough. Like last night.
    My older bub, C, has been having some issues lately that I won't go into detail with but I will say this: Originally doctors thought that he had an ulcer (he's had them before and he's only 33!) They did a scope on his stomach and it was not an ulcer, they determined that it must be his esophagus. Our family has quite the history with chronic heart burn and stomach issues and C suffers from these as well. So when they said it was his esophagus we thought "okay- he has chronic heart burn, used to chew (GROSS! I know) and has had ulcers, it is probably bothering his esophagus as well." Well yesterday he had a sonogram done on his esophagus and they found some discoloration but not much else. He is now waiting for blood work to come back to find out if there is something else going on. The scary part? Possible results could be cancer.
    So what do I say to him? I don't want him to know that I'm stressed, because I'm trying not to be, and I don't want him to stress at all. I told him that he is young and healthy (for the most part) and if it is something terrible he will be able to fight it. His concerns are mainly for his family: wife and 3 children, that basically depend on his income. My family is tight, there is no way that any of them are going to go without so I told him "worst case scenario you've got the whole family up in your business for a while to take care of you and help out, you're not going to be living on the street or anything." I don't know if it helped because he is a chronic worrier (another thing my family is infamous for) and this is a really scary situation. I like to think he knows me well enough to know how concerned I am for him and that my world is not complete without him, and in other cases I'm pretty sure he does, but this is unknown territory. For now the only thing to do is pray and wait and hope that the results will be nothing more than he needs to take it easy on his digestive system for a while.
If you've made it this far you're an Angel, thanks for reading.

Love ya bub!